a rebuttal.
so a certain someone dampened my spirits a couple of weekends ago when he pronounced: "if it hasn't happened yet, it's probably not going to happen." well, i have a rebuttal for you mister... i was riding home on the train with my friend, jenny, last night, and she told me this true story. it's a story about a 37-year-old woman who proclaimed a few years back that she loved her job, she loved her friends and family, she owned her apartment... and if she just wasn't destined to find a certain someone and be hitched, well, doggoneit... life was still good. why fixate on one thing when everything else is all sorts of wonderful?
then one weekend she has a friend stay over... and that friend brings a guest who is visiting from san francisco. and that guest and her hit it off, but she thinks: "well, he's from cali and i'm in new york... what could ever really come out of this?" he leaves to go back west, then gives her a call that week to tell her that he'd be back in new york that weekend for business... could they get together? well, sure! now, it's three years later and they are married! after one weekend and one fateful plane ride.
here's the clincher: he made the whole business trip up! he just woke up on a wednesday, booked a flight, and flew across the country to go on a date with a woman he just met. friends, romance is not dead...
this story has two morals: the first is that i'm 25 and i shouldn't even begin to despair. i was talking to jenny about being 25, and she, in the wisdom of her years, recalled that 25 was a no man's land. i concur... people at 25 are either already married, engaged, or in a relationship they've been in for years... or they're bruised from their last relationship and they're bitter/healing... or they're enjoying being single and have commitment-phobia. especially in new york, the fountain of youth... where 30-year old men with ph.d's and solid jobs still live with roommates and go to the bar every night of the week. in the world outside of manhattan, these men would be settling down and paying a mortgage.
the second moral of the story: what the hell have i been doing giving men the benefit of the doubt? and meeting them halfway? and taking the initiative? i come up with too many excuses for sorry men: "oh, he's busy/tired/stresssed." or "it's complicated/challenging/blah blah blah." i put myself in men's shoes and think: women are scary... relationships are risky... we just need to get to know each other better. well, i'm telling you now... it's a whole crock o' shite. the bottom line is that there are men out there who will fly across the country to see if something works out. and, i think i'm the kind of woman who is worth the frequent flier miles.
then one weekend she has a friend stay over... and that friend brings a guest who is visiting from san francisco. and that guest and her hit it off, but she thinks: "well, he's from cali and i'm in new york... what could ever really come out of this?" he leaves to go back west, then gives her a call that week to tell her that he'd be back in new york that weekend for business... could they get together? well, sure! now, it's three years later and they are married! after one weekend and one fateful plane ride.
here's the clincher: he made the whole business trip up! he just woke up on a wednesday, booked a flight, and flew across the country to go on a date with a woman he just met. friends, romance is not dead...
this story has two morals: the first is that i'm 25 and i shouldn't even begin to despair. i was talking to jenny about being 25, and she, in the wisdom of her years, recalled that 25 was a no man's land. i concur... people at 25 are either already married, engaged, or in a relationship they've been in for years... or they're bruised from their last relationship and they're bitter/healing... or they're enjoying being single and have commitment-phobia. especially in new york, the fountain of youth... where 30-year old men with ph.d's and solid jobs still live with roommates and go to the bar every night of the week. in the world outside of manhattan, these men would be settling down and paying a mortgage.
the second moral of the story: what the hell have i been doing giving men the benefit of the doubt? and meeting them halfway? and taking the initiative? i come up with too many excuses for sorry men: "oh, he's busy/tired/stresssed." or "it's complicated/challenging/blah blah blah." i put myself in men's shoes and think: women are scary... relationships are risky... we just need to get to know each other better. well, i'm telling you now... it's a whole crock o' shite. the bottom line is that there are men out there who will fly across the country to see if something works out. and, i think i'm the kind of woman who is worth the frequent flier miles.
posted by cheeky monkey at 1:58 PM
2 Comments:
DUDE--that's the beginnings of a Sunday wedding feature! It exists, we all must believe.
this is the problem. You women get together on your internets and talk about men flying across the country on a whim. "Oh that's soooo romantic." well, give me a call the next time some stranger shows up at your door having flown across the country. Im pretty sure I'll be hearing words like "stalker" and "probably a serial killer."
:)
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