ramblings.

i live a life of long-term uncertainty. i don't know how i got here, but i suspect it has something to do with the whole pesky foreign student business which means that no matter where i am, i have an expiration date in the form of a stamp on my passport. the only exception is in the philippines where i am even more of a foreigner. at least here in the u.s. i can pass myself as a local (i'm sure some of you are thinking to yourself: "wait.... kristine isn't american???"), but in the philippines, there is no hiding the fact that even though i have a filipino passport, i am not, in fact, truly filipino. i'm constantly a stranger in a strange land.

anyways, my point is that, unlike most of my colleagues who can really have flexible plans about what they want to do, i have to have several plans of varying probabilities. there's the bschool plan which i have written about here, and then there's the employment plan. and then there's the not oft spoken about unemployment plan. and there's the deportation plan. haha, i jest. anyways, the bschool plan has been underway for sometime, but today i had my first interview of the recruitment season with j&j, for their human resources leadership development program and it went pretty well.

i have to say, i'm think i can be pretty good with interviewing. it baffles my mind how i suddenly transform into this uber-confident well-spoken individual with marketable skills when in class, my heart begins to pound the moment i raise my hand. i'm better in smaller group settings, i guess. i'm best one-on-one. anyways, it's something i need to work on. sorry, i'm just flabbergasted, i guess because i heard sentences like: "as a liaison between marketing and finance, i really had to negotiate the differing motivations of each department and come up with a solution that would achieve both their goals." i think i floated above my body, looked down, and thought to myself: "who is this person?" gah!

as for bschool plans, i've revised my choices somewhat. top of the heap is still darden and i had an opportunity to speak to an assistant director in the admissions office yesterday in which i told her, in no uncertain terms, "darden is my first choice. if i get in, i'm coming." and she was thrilled, and expressed that i should make sure to put that in my first essay clearly, and that it was certainly an edge to be someone who really connects with the program. essays are coming along, in the brainstorming phase right now. my next trip out is to the good ole alma mater, michigan, which i'm simultaneously excited and anxious about. and then, i think to round out my applications, i'm applying to duke in north carolina, whose business school, fuqua, i can't for the life of me figure out how to pronounce... and i get nervous that i'm being obscene.

it's surprising how the things i wanted to get out of an mba experience has really evolved just over the last month.... and that my list has made some significant changes over just the past week. when i started the process i thought: "well, i just want to go to a bschool with a solid social responsibility program." now, what i'm looking for is really refined to what my experience is going to be, who my colleauges are, and who i hope to become. stay tuned!

p.s. paul's up in the city for the weekend. wahoooooooooooo!