a thank you.
i've been so busy this last month that i didn't realize a significant anniversary had come and gone: the two-year anniversary of the Break-Up, also known as my two-year anniversary of being single (which is subsequently followed, in october, by the two-year anniversary of my move to new york city).
i think about the Break-Up when autumn comes to new york (and it's officially here), because that's how my memories feel: overcast... and damp from crying. when you're down in the trenches, it doesn't seem like you'll ever crawl back out. for me, getting over my relationship meant changing everything: where i was, who i was with, what i was doing... danny left and i dealt with it by turning my life on its head.
to be clear, i don't revisit those times to wallow... i actually look back to revel in how much has changed since then... and how going through all that was probably one of the best things to happen to me. ever. when i was finally liberated (against my will, mind you), i was jolted into action, chasing opportunities with new fervor and a healthy amount of selfishness. though, truth be told, a lot of things i did to simply distract myself from the pain. i picked up and moved to new york. i decided i wanted to try out publishing, and so i did it. then i decided that grad school was next, and so it was. i had conversations with myself about what i wanted to do and then i tried to make them happen. i can't imagine the outcome would have been the same, or even close, if danny and i were still together. it's odd how things work out... even when they don't--and i sometimes feel like thanking danny for ending things between us.
i do know that i didn't do it all by myself. so, some props and some thanks. the first person, i remember, who helped me up was my brother, mark (a new reader of the cheeky monkey--hi mark!) who told me that it was okay to pick up and start something new. just because it was abrupt didn't mean i was a quitter. (so, thanks marky-mokong-ho-nito...) then, of course, there was kaye, who stayed up with me to make my list of things i hated about men and listened to me bawl and rant. and, elie, who made it his mission to make new york city my home. he hosted me for my interviews and took me in when i was homeless. he let me just be sad when i needed to be sad, but coaxed me out every so often to have a good time. thanks eli-o...
and, of course, all my very dear friends: moosh, paul, wolka, becca-boo, slomo, lola, pat, falgu, ly, bo, paolilla, priya, ethan, blobel, julie, and of course, my parents... who called, visited, emailed to check in and make sure i was okay. it really takes a village to get someone out of a slump... and i know that not everyone has that, so i was really really really lucky. you all have my heart.
i think about the Break-Up when autumn comes to new york (and it's officially here), because that's how my memories feel: overcast... and damp from crying. when you're down in the trenches, it doesn't seem like you'll ever crawl back out. for me, getting over my relationship meant changing everything: where i was, who i was with, what i was doing... danny left and i dealt with it by turning my life on its head.
to be clear, i don't revisit those times to wallow... i actually look back to revel in how much has changed since then... and how going through all that was probably one of the best things to happen to me. ever. when i was finally liberated (against my will, mind you), i was jolted into action, chasing opportunities with new fervor and a healthy amount of selfishness. though, truth be told, a lot of things i did to simply distract myself from the pain. i picked up and moved to new york. i decided i wanted to try out publishing, and so i did it. then i decided that grad school was next, and so it was. i had conversations with myself about what i wanted to do and then i tried to make them happen. i can't imagine the outcome would have been the same, or even close, if danny and i were still together. it's odd how things work out... even when they don't--and i sometimes feel like thanking danny for ending things between us.
i do know that i didn't do it all by myself. so, some props and some thanks. the first person, i remember, who helped me up was my brother, mark (a new reader of the cheeky monkey--hi mark!) who told me that it was okay to pick up and start something new. just because it was abrupt didn't mean i was a quitter. (so, thanks marky-mokong-ho-nito...) then, of course, there was kaye, who stayed up with me to make my list of things i hated about men and listened to me bawl and rant. and, elie, who made it his mission to make new york city my home. he hosted me for my interviews and took me in when i was homeless. he let me just be sad when i needed to be sad, but coaxed me out every so often to have a good time. thanks eli-o...
and, of course, all my very dear friends: moosh, paul, wolka, becca-boo, slomo, lola, pat, falgu, ly, bo, paolilla, priya, ethan, blobel, julie, and of course, my parents... who called, visited, emailed to check in and make sure i was okay. it really takes a village to get someone out of a slump... and i know that not everyone has that, so i was really really really lucky. you all have my heart.
posted by cheeky monkey at 3:25 PM
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